Wednesday, March 29, 2006

hello my name is Kili....Kili Manjaro

So, you know the whole interviewing malarky….

Well I’m involved with that at the moment. Interviewing for two new tele sales people to sell subscriptions for our publications.

I’ve involved our new sales manager, he will of course have to manage them. And I’ve positively laid the law down, made it quite plain that the ideal candidates will be those who fulfil the criteria, in terms of skills, required by the job.

There will be no relevance afforded to any physical aspect of the interviewees. I made it very clear. We will not be fatist, racist, gingerphobic, wavy toothitist, or even anti one-big-eye-in-the-middle-of –the-forehead….our ideal candidate will have a good telephone manner and be motivated.

Imagine my embarrassment then, when a lady who was at least 7 feet tall (over a certain height to me everyone looks 7 feet tall) with a robust figure of I’d say at least 250 lbs should be introduced by my secretary..

“This is Helena”

We stood up. I was far too close. I could no longer see her forehead, but stood rooted, like a rabbit in the glare of approaching headlights, staring through the v of her cleavage directly into her nostrils.

She was obviously quite fastidious in the nose department.

And she interviewed extremely well too (once she sat down and I could hear what she was saying). For a ridiculous moment I had thought she might yodel.

My sales manager seems very impressed

How can I tell him that I’m scared of heights.

16 comments:

krisbtterfly said...

*snort* you interviewed big foot! hey, like you said, 'good telephone manner' and 'be motivated'... just don't look her directly in the eyes and she won't charge you. you'll be safe.

patti_cake said...

I can't stop snickering at the Bigfoot comment. Sadly I cannot relate as i'm barely 5"2 in my stocking feet. Wait,- I can relate to YOU just not Bigfoot.
Do let us know about the other interviews - fun! fun! fun!

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Hell, to us short folk (I'm 5'3") EVERYONE looks like they're 7 feet tall!

And I think it's terrific that you're not just looking for a set of nice boobies/eye candy to answer the phone. I mean, if she happens to have nice boobies/straight teeth/two eyes nicely proportioned in her head AND a great phone personality, that's great too...;)

Jenn said...

That's hilarious. Simply hilarious.

I can't wait to hear about others. Hopefully, there's more entertainment to be had.

Di said...

Well just to be fair...did you wonder what she thought of you?

May the best qualified win.

Shephard said...

It's really a shame you're not hiring for Amazon dot com.
;)
~S

Al said...

Reminds me of the bartender(ess) at a place I used to visit. She was about 6'6" and statuesque. Once, a couple of overindulgers started a yelling match so she went over , grabbed each by an ear, and bonked their heads together. After that it was all "Yes, mam, No mam."

Seven said...

Think of the new possibilities for storing things high in the cabinets. This will be a grand resource for so many things; moving refrigerators, hoisting file cabinets....Good God Man...go for it!

Wendy said...

I'm singing "Climb Everryyyy Mountainnnnn" ... LOL! Colin, you never ever cease to crack me up. Speaking of crack .. don't let her accidentally sit on you - it'll be hours before someone finds you again!

Wendy said...

PS .. but she sounds like she's PERFECT for the job!

Pam said...

"That's a big bitch!"

Only a man of your caliber, your uh, stature could rise to the occasion.

How long did you say it took you to close your mouth?

Magpie said...

damn if only the commute wasn't so long i'd apply too, i'm a lot shorter than her and still have the breasts...lol

:0)

tammi said...

That's way too funny!

Sandra said...

Well I'll bet she likes to 'roll roll roll in zee hay'. Working in your office must be most interesting, Col.

Gerbera Daisy said...

As I am not quite 5 ft. 2 in., I can relate to people looking like they could be 7 ft. tall!!! ;-)Let us all know about your other interviews. And if you should decide to hire Sasquatch.

Aims said...

ha ha! excellent! I'm playing catch up again!