Monday, September 12, 2005

I've been playing a game with the lady in the newsagent.

Every day I buy a copy of the Telegraph, but the shop is a bit olde worlde, so I have to ask for it. This is how it goes:

"Good morning", me.

"Good Morning",

"Telegraph please"

"Telegraph?"

"Yes please"

"60p please"

"Thanks, bye"

"Cheerio"

Every day, without fail, a Telegraph and every day, when I ask for a Telegraph the reply is "Telegraph?".

Please don't get me wrong, I know it's not the end of the world, but it's really started to wind me up now, so I've started to play, just to see what happens.

I've been trying to throw a spanner into this well oiled machine:

"Good morning", me.

"Good Morning",

"Telegraph please"

"Telegraph?"

"No, Guardian"

"Guardian?", a little flustered,

"No, Telegraph"

"Ah, Telegraph?"

"Yes please"

"60p please", back on solid ground.....etc.


I've substituted the Mail, the Times, the Independent, and once when I was feeling really cantankerous, went from the the Mirror, to the Express before we finally arrived back at my Telegraph - I was considering stretching it out even further with a Sun, but I thought I detected genuine panic and a little bit of bottom lip tremble.

Why does she do this? Why is it necessary to repeat what I ask for? I've no idea.....but then again she seems completely oblivious to the game too, so she's probably telling her friends about the fuckwit customer who just can't make up his mind.

3 comments:

Katya said...

you should ask her for the daily sport, i always wonder how men get porn mags at newsagents run by little old ladies...lol

:0)

Miladysa said...

Deja Vu reading this post. The same ritual used to take place daily between a lady owner of a newsagents and myself. I had moved to another County for a short spell a few years ago. Surprisingly it was one of the reasons I moved back to where I am now. Go into a local shop here for a newspaper and before you leave they have your DNA! Friendlier up North I kid you not! :)

Kiki said...

Oh that's just hilarious!!!

Maybe you should just flip out one day and say

"YES THE EFFING TELEGRAPH. WHY WOULD I ASK FOR THE TELEGRAPH IF I WASN'T SURE????? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO REPEAT ME????"

Then proceed to throw your arms about and spin in circles. It will really kick her off her rocker.