Wednesday, September 21, 2005

And Charlie says da doo ron ron


I can't see anything except a swirl of colours with my left eye, which is nice, it's like having your own peronal en suite kaleidoscope






I used to wonder what it is that women have to say to babies. I’ve never really concentrated on it but I know it’s more than just coochiecoochiecoo. I imagined that it was just one of those things that are somehow necessary, some sentient female instinct to engage the child in conversation, not because the baby will understand the words let alone the meaning, but will somehow absorb some part of it, maybe the sentiment, maybe vocal structure or intonation as part of a subliminal early learning process.

However, I now thing this theory is a lot of tush – ever since I actually registered what I was saying to the dogs. We walk and I talk, complete drivel. Yards of it. It’s become an out of body experience now, tonight I overheard myself singing the “wee on it” song.

“what is it Charlie I don’t know…let’s wee on it”
“what is it Toff, I’ve no idea…let’s wee on it”
“la la la la la (sing along now)…let’s wee on it”
ad nauseum

I do voices too.

I’m going into a home soon.

15 comments:

Miladysa said...

Do you continue to see the colours when you close you eye?

I wonder what the dogs are saying to you? :)

Wendy said...

I wonder if your dogs tell their friends what you say. I have full fledged conversations with my little hound, as I find him to be one of the most intelligent beings around me!! He's the best therapist!

leesepea said...

Oh, but we are such kindred spirits!

I sing to dogs, too.

And they're not even my own.

To my sister's dog, Bud White (very small white poodle named after character in LA Confidential), whom I cradle like a baby while singing the following:

"Buddy B, Buddy B come home with me, Come home with me, my Buddy B..."

To my boyfriend's sister's dog, JoJo, (a small, sable colored Pomeranian who was named after the family pig JoJo Pumpkin in the PBS show Frontier house):

"Mojo-ness JoJo-ness, Mojo-ness JoJo-ness..." The song is usually sung as she dances around at my feet, trying frantically not to be scooped into my arms so as to be cradled.

It started when I was 14. My mom's boyfriend brought home a Cocker Spaniel puppy, whom he named Bingo. I hated the song already associated with my dog's name, so I made up the following:

"My name is Bingo y yo soy el Stink-o..."

I was taking Spanish at the time.

I also thought it quite funny to cover his eyes with his long Cocker ears and and shriek, "HOLA, FRIJOLE! HOW YOU BEAN?"

I'll be joining you in that home quite soon.

leesepea said...

P.S. The JoJo song alternates with the following (sung to the tune of the "Bob the Builder" theme):

JoJo Pumpkin, she's so tiny!
JoJo Pumpkin, and so sweet!"

P.P.S. How'd it go with the vet?

Miladysa said...

I can see an album on the way. Can I please add what I sing to our 8 week old Jack Russell?

"Sparky Sparky Sparky Sparky Spartacus."

Did not wish to feel left out :)

Katya said...

i talk baby talk to my hamsters...i feel so daft at times but they can be nervy...

i don't you are supposed to baby talk to babies, i think it stunts their development or something...

:0)

Katya said...

i'd love to see you turn up at the x-factor auditions and sing that...i'd love to see Simon Cowells face..lol

:0)

Aims said...

yea I agree with Katya!!! I do the very same thing with my dog! Although it's more along the lines of "Come here stinky, what have you rolled in now smelly? Ohhh isn't that a nice stench" all sang in an extremely highpitched stupid voice. & yes my boy answers me too!!

a fish on a bycicle said...

Blimey, thanks, I thought it was just me who was barmy (I really should have known better?).

Do you think we should do what Milady suggests, get together and make some silly arsed compilation. (Cliff Richard has said he's going to retire so something has to fill the void).

Gerbera Daisy said...

I used to talk to my dog Champ (a black Labrador). I always wished Champ could talk to me. My ex husband was out of town quite a bit and Champ was my buddy. I miss my dog and he WAS my dog dammit! Now I find myself talking to my boyfriend's dog Brandy.

Amy said...

I have full fledged conversations with Gabe, but I've never sung to the dog. I think he might cower and whine and protest if I did. I only subject passengers of my car to my vocal abilities or lack thereof.

Keep at it! We'll have a great time together in that home!

Kiki said...

now I want to hear the Wee on it song!! I talk in garbldygoo talk to my dog. and sometimes babies. and sometimes my boyfriend. and sometimes my boss. and sometimes to my reflection.

I'll be joining you in the home soon too. :)

a fish on a bycicle said...

gawd, we are going to be so popular with the other residents? Do you want me to look out for a bulk discount deal on straitjackets?

Milady - re the eye, oddly enough no, when close my eyse I see naked ladies, how lucky is that?

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I popped over from Katyas blog and loved what I read...:)

I have three dogs and talk to them quite often....my husband thinks I'm crazy but I don't care....they understand me.

No, really, they do understand me! (Sometimes even better than my husband does!!!;)

Kiki said...

Bulk discount on straightjackets!! What an idea!! I'll be on the look out if you will too! ;)