Wednesday, May 31, 2006

pass me two of the blue ones quickly...

flippin 'eck. Everything seems just a little bit unglued at the moment.

There was a 'friendly' International football match last night (that's soccer to you heathens), in the last stages of England’s assault on the World Cup (please, please let it happen in my life time). And I belong a rag taggle group of fans who've watched 4 successive World Cups (bear in mind the World Cup only comes around every 4 years), 4 all too early exits, every game live (even those in the early hours of the morning) from the same smoky corner of the same dingy pub. We've hugged, cried, screamed, shouted, lamented, raged at the referees and the injustice of it all and thrown our beer heavenwards in rapture after scoring a goal or defeating an arch enemy.

It was a bit of a dull game last night.

Still I managed quite a respectable hangover and was propelled towards the bedroom carpet all too soon this morning by the alarm. I'm fuzzy at the best of times, but on mornings like these the world appears to me through a glass darkly, very darkly indeed. Somehow I manage to simultaneously feed the dogs, make tea, fish a towel out of the washing machine with my toes and minister to my headache by bashing down a couple of aspirin.

Except that I noticed, on the way out, feeling a lot better after a shower and extensive oral hygiene that the packet said "Nytol" and not aspirin, which wasn't exactly what I needed.

Consequently I felt right at home this afternoon waiting in line to renew my road tax in the local Post Office. "Post Offices" in the UK dispense stamps, pensions, rubber bands, packing tape and biros. They are also the Grim Reaper's waiting room, constantly occupied by the elderly, infirm and permanently befuddled, who spend their remaining coffin dodging hours waiting in line for a form, which they return to the back of the queue with...to ask for a pen, or another form, or to weigh their colostomy bag on the scale, or advice on the right blend of loam to grow artichokes from seed.

I rocked and reeled with the queue and had a little hot flush where I thought for a moment I might go down under the shuffling ranks of rubber footed zimmer frames.

And this is on the end of a 'Bank' holiday, a long weekend, which means that Sunday had potential for a late night too.

That's not to say I've not been "good". I have. I've done my chores, been on some very long walks with the dogs, caught up with friends, sanded the bathroom walls, begun to paint and even weeded the garden (deep joy).

What's more I got to meet Sandra, who is adorable and fun and great company, as she and her friends were spending a week packing in more to do in and around London than the average Londoner will ever accomplish in a lifetime. Goodness knows where they found the energy, but I would never have been able to keep up. Even after one very gentle evening - and it can't possibly be the beer, (we drank sociably and responsibly, the very epitome of gentile restraint and decorum I tell you!!!) - I put it down to the impromptu and very relaxing head and neck massage offered by the demented, infinitely camp, engaging and quite deranged, French, ('but I was an Inca in a former life'), jongleur in a crowded cobbled courtyard of a pub.....that caused me to slump over my desk in a dead coma the next day. (Thank you Yvonne for the tea, and the discreet nudge).

I must be getting old. Go leave me in a Post Office.

Oh, and ironically, as I could sleep all day but couldn’t catch a wink last night elle gave me the gift of poetry to keep away the night sprites

23 comments:

patti_cake said...

I can't get past the "coffin dodging hours" LOL Woe is me if I were to ever take Nytol instead of Aspirin. I would probably crash the car on the drive to work!!! How about that fourth installment of the Magic Caravan soon, eh Col?

Melissa said...

Ah yes, when the blog world meets the real world. Lovely. I'm glad you had a good time. Hangover or not.

Deadly Female said...

Nytol instead of aspirin? Uh-oh....

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Awww....you called me a heathen.

I'm touched...that means you really like me, right? ;)

Wendy said...

Ahhhh! I love your caravan tale, but these posts are what I love most. Dunno why .. just do! I would have just fallen over and passed out had I taken Nytol! Colin, you just crack me up. I'll never able to be waiting in line at the PO again - without thinking of this and coffin dodging! Glad you met Sandra and had a nice time!

Sandra said...

See, you haven't scared everyone off with The Magic Caravan! I wouldn't have made it out the door if I'd mixed up Nytol with aspirin -- well done.

Gerbera Daisy said...

It doesn't matter that you think I am a heathen. I am sure you meant it in a sweet adoring way!! ;-)


Mixing Nytol for aspirin...Heck!! I wouldn't have made it out of the house, much less driving.

Have a good day.

Seven said...

Weird. Same thing with the snail mail stations in the US. Filled to the rim with the nearly dead.
That was really fun reading.

kate said...

Well Yvonne may have helped you with your blood pressure and diabetes if you believe Pams post ! hehehe Between that and all the drinking you will live to 100 so dont start hanging out at the Post Office too soon!

fun post!

cheers!! Kate

Jay said...

erm, did you just call me a heathen?

Shephard said...

Same goes for Post offices on the west coast of the USA. Postal institutions are not for the living... who wants to live in an institution?

~S

Anne said...

I love your posts! I have taken tylenol PM went I meant to take regular pain meds..I think its best just to go back to bed when that happens!

Magpie said...

very funny, you obviously got to the post office on pension day...lol

and theres no drought up here, we aren't having hosepipe bans either, move north...it hailstoned on bank holiday monday...!!!

:0)

Dustin said...

Post Offices seem to be black holes for courtesey and efficiency. Definitely to be avoided at all costs, but impossible to escape permanently. ugh.

Lisa said...

I hope you gets loads of sleep soon, sounds like you could use it. I know what you mean about feeling like you've begun the slow march toward death as I, too have been feeling oh-so-old lately. Anyway, I enjoy your writing. And good luck with the World Cup.

a fish on a bycicle said...

very odd

(how did you manage to make the net change colour to match the girl's hair?)

Lisa said...

The hammock is made with several colors, none of which I changed. I'm just not that good. The photos haven't been manipulated at all. Lomos are crazy like that, capturing moments in unpredictable ways. B.t.w., did you manage to get the paint off of your dog?

Miladysa said...

Ahh! So it WAS you waving your arms about and shouting "bug**rof" at the school children this morning at 08:30? Tell me something Colin, why do you all start queing at 08:00 when you know full well that the post master will not open the door until he has made you wait an extra 10 minutes over the official opening time?

tammi said...

You are SOOO right about the post offices.Here in Texas,the lines often go from the counter to the door,and it's always when I'm in a hurry and only need something simple done.
In reading your blog(obsessively...lol) I'd be willing to bet the farm that your an absolute blast in person. :-}
I just loove movies that are London based.Especially the accent!
A checker at a store here in "no-where-ville" is from the U.K. and I ask her alot of questions...when I run out of reasonable questions,I ask dumb one's just to hear her talk.I bet she shrugs when she sees me when I get in her checkout lane.LOL
Have a good day!

Anne said...

Enough already...a post please? Miss ya...

tammi said...

Awwww,c'mon.I agree w/ Anne.I keep popping in and no new news.(frown)Hoping all is well.

Jessica said...

Stopping by to say hello. Miss you, friend.

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