oh crap, I recognise the symptoms.
It’s sooner than I thought, I only recently came back into the world, bugger and damnation.
It’s just a simple infatuation, there’s no need to worry. I’m certainly not going to call it by any other name, (although I do know the symptoms very well). There are some obvious giveaways, it’s always the person that you want most that you find most difficult to talk to…???... tell me I’m not alone… and when you do summon up the courage there’s that awful out of body experience: I said that? That was the best I could come up with?, oh you tragedy in trousers. Because it’s impossible to be spontaneous when you’re trying so bloody hard.
Well sod it, this time I’m not going to get involved, there’s a perfectly rational argument for simply keeping your head down and letting it pass and let’s be truthful here, there’s no indication that it’s not one way traffic in any case. I don’t want to be a coward, but then again I don’t want to be a fool either.
and yes, I know that you die little inside every time you do this
"to realize that life....is not a symbol, is not one riddle and one failure to guess it, is not to inhabit one face alone or to be given up after one losing throw of the dice; but it is to be, however inadequately, emptily. hopelessly into the city's iron heart, endured" Well fuck you Mr Fowles, knowing you're right just makes it worse.