on the naming of toes

It was my birthday yesterday.

This is what happens on Colin’s birthday….

Small irate dog has an ulcer on his eye (courtesy of the cat who assaulted him years ago).

Large stupid dog, feeling left out no doubt, has a case of the electric shits.

Colin’s doctor opines, suddenly and alarmingly, that extra testiculari are bad, and (even more alarmingly) immediatley hits the phone to enlist the help of (any) local surgeon to remove said stellar objet d’art from bulging scrotum (I apologise if you are tucking in to a bowl of Cheerios at the moment)..

Colin sits endlessly in waiting room reading “Vogue” for surgeon to eventually shake him by the genitals and say “come back on Monday”, because it’s “my anniversary you see”, and he’d like to skip off and take his good lady to Quaglino’s….he has a reservation.

Colin finally plucks up courage to ask girl-at-a-distance out, for a little dinner and perhaps a few drinks

And inadvertently calls a lady in America instead. Just a slip of the thumb, but thank you Jessica, it was nice to say hello?

Yours truly wakes up in bathroom at 9.30 this morning wearing a Spaniel as a hat, and a message in lipstick on his forehead which reads…”X”

Thank #### I’m mellowing with age……