the yellow peril

I spent the evening sanding the kitchen walls. Which is unusual for me, preparation is usually anathema. I simply can’t be arsed, can’t wait to change the scenery and slap on the colour. So the final two hours, the last thing I did before going to bed, were spent slapping on the fresh paint on the long plain wall so that I would wake up to a cheery new colour.

It’s probably already been mentioned that I’m not at my sparkling best in the morning, In truth I hardly noticed the freshly painted wall, in any case the kitchen doesn’t get a lot of sunlight in the morning.

I went through the usual tedious routine of trying to make sense of my world in the mornings. (I have a strange relationship with inanimate objects. Packets fall on my head when I open cupboards, I stub my toe on a protruding mop handle, and for some reason will find a sheet of newspaper sticking to the sole of my foot. There’s a perfectly rational explanation, I know, I simply don’t put things away properly, I just jam things into gaps in the other clutter from where they, or a neighbour, eventually escape and fight back).

So, wrestling with the kettle, and absorbed with the food label that had become attached to my hip I called the dogs for early morning ablutions.

It takes three goes. They lie in. The first call is polite “c’mon guys”. The second call is more forceful, half way through the first coffee “Oy, come on!”. I need the in the yard you see, before I go for my shower. Eventually I have to go and poke them with my toe and force them, ruthlessly, out of the door.

So, I’m squeaky clean, freshly laundered, smelling of lemons, with polished teeth and mouthwash fresh breath. Standing at the door actually enjoying the sunshine this morning, wrapped in my towel, because having got the little sods out I now have to coerce them back in with promises of breakfast. (Goodness knows what my neighbours make of this routine).

Then, and only then, did I notice that I now have a beautiful, doe eyed, brown, and white Springer Spaniel.

Who is bright yellow down one side.

Sod it, tonight I’m going to paint the rest of him purple.