Sorry I think I left a light on..

Say it, I know, I'm crap.

Call yourself a man of principle Colin? Not me, I've the back bone of a jelly fish and the morals of Mr Blobby.

Truth is I miss the company, and I've missed the blog too. I've been reading all of my favourite people, some new ones too, and I just plain miss it - have you ever tried to blog in your head?

I also had a bloody good chat with myself, and resolved a few things with some of the nagging dissenters in my head. The gist of this was a realisation that it doesn't matter, not a jot, what other people think, it's a place where I get to write what I really think, if I'm honest enough to do that, and if people don't like it, well...they won't read it? Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. More than that I'm fed up with denying myself things that I enjoy, if I'm not careful the treats box will soon look as spartan as my fridge.

(But really I just missed it much more than I thought I would).

Erm, I feel a bit like Charlie at the moment when he's squirted on the carpet, mincing around on tiptoe with his tail between his legs...if he could whistle tunelessly he would. So can we just let it go please, consider it an aberration and carry on as if I hadn't widdled on the rug....

I know who drank the '81, call me Clouseau, and I will be naming and shaming, you harlot.

Last night I parked my neighbours car for her for the umpteenth time. It's a busy street I'll grant you, and parking spaces are at a premium, but ma'am, you have the spatial awareness of a drunken moth. But you are very, very sweet when you're flustered, I especially like the way you push your glasses up your nose and look around to see if there's an audience when you mount the kerb.

Oh and some gossip, shhh, lean in because I'm going to whisper - I met someone too! She's very nice, but she's sort of 'on the rebound' and I'm a bit shy so it's softly softly, slowly slowly, if you know what I mean, but I really like her - so keep it under your hat for the moment.

Oooo, this feels luvverly.

And while it's my blog and she doesn't know me from Adam, I'd just like to take the opportunity to say to 'Sue', I've no idea who you are but if you don't stop bullying Katya the boys will be round with an empty Rioja bottle and some vaseline - get my drift?